Self Defense is used in a situation where you, or someone around you, is in grave danger of physical harm or fears for the loss of life. This would include an attack with a weapon, robbery, sexual assult, or multiple attackers. Verbal threats, without flourishing a weapon, and without an actual advance on your person (You Sissy!) is not a grave danger in most cases. I hold the rank of Shodan - A 1st Degree Black Belt in Chinese Kempo Karate, from Grand Master Tim Golby, at Tracy's Karate - Kirkwood. The Tracy's system is solidly self defense - Get the job done NOW. I am active in sparring and hold the title of Instructor. While I am not a paid instructor - they are several notches higher up the ladder - I am held to the same standards they are. I've been involved in Kenpo since 1974, with Master Sid Gee as my first instructor. There were no pads and very few rules in those early days. Today training is still every bit as advanced, but pads do take a lot of the incidental bruises away. Face and groin contact are practiced with advanced division students, and other black belts. The training I have received from Grand Master Tim Golby, Master Sid Gee, Master Tim Greek and Master Dave Hofer has been worth every penny, every bruise, every minute of time invested. I consider my advanced belts to be equal to any University Degree I have obtained. Sparring is *FUN*. As practiced in the studio, sparring is an adult form of the game Tag, without the "Adult" connotation. It is much harder to just touch your opponent than to blast away like other styles would do. Choosing to not hit hard is different from not being able to hit hard. This is also different than being hard to hit. Competition, even in Senior Mens, is out - too many professionals, not enough fun. However, that does not rule out being a Center Judge in local competitions, like the Budwieser. I've also been trained in Tae-Kwon-Do, Judo, and Akido by Grand Master Bong Yul Shin and Master Maury Jones at Moo Do Kwan. For serious self defense, I prefer the ancient art of Shink-Chink. Just possesing the knowledge of how to defend yourself will allow you to avoid many bad situations. Being aware of your surroundings will allow you to avoid most of the rest. Staying relaxed, showing true external focus and following up scores points.